I made this for other Poly / ENM Lifestyle people to collaborate with each other about the lifestyle.
I will be adding to it in my spare time so PLEASE be patient 🙂
- Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved
Polyamory Styles:
1. Triad
Some polyamorous couples choose to date other singles together, seeking a long term partner with which to become a “triad” or “throuple.”
2. Quad
Some polyamorous couples choose to date other couples together, hoping to find a long-term relationship called a “quad.” In a quad, all partners may have a sexual and romantic relationship with one another, or perhaps only cross-gender partners have a relationship with one another, or any combination of the four people involved.
3. Vee
Very commonly in polyamory one person dates two people separately. They are then the “pivot” in a vee style relationship. Their two partners are “metamours” to one another and those two people might never meet, or they may become close friends, but they do not have a romantic relationship.
4. Solo Polyamory
A solo poly person typically prefers to live alone and has multiple partnerships that they do not define in a hierarchical manner.
5. Polycule
A polycule encompasses everyone on the relationship map, including all of your partners and metamours, whether or not they cohabitate. There may be polycule meetings or discussions to consider decisions which have implications for everyone involved
6. Hierarchical Poly
In a hierarchical polyamorous relationship, there is a “primary” couple who may cohabitate, combine finances, have children together or participate in other aspects of a shared life. This couple defines the rules for how they are allowed to explore “secondary” relationships.
They may explore relationships together or separately, they may have established constraints around sex or time spent with other partners or they may have “veto power” which allows either person to end their partner’s secondary relationships if they are unhappy with them.
7. Anchor Partners
Some polyamorous partners define their relationship as an “anchor” or “nesting” partnership, instead of primary. These monikers indicate that hierarchy is not present and all partners are considered equal, while still acknowledging that shared life commitments such as home, finances or children are a factor in defining the relationship.
8. Kitchen-Table Poly
Kitchen-table poly is when everyone within a polycule is ideally able to sit around a table and conduct open discussions about their relationships. Partners and partners of partners can comfortably reach out to one another and talk directly about requests, concerns, or emotions.
9. Parallel Poly
Parallel poly is when metamours do not interact with one another. If a person in a vee-style relationship has requests or concerns, they discuss those with one partner, who then determines how to navigate the issue with their other partner.
10. Polyfidelity
Some polyamorous relationships become “closed” and members engage in “polyfidelity.” This is when all members of a poly relationship agree not to seek romantic or sexual connections outside of the established relationship structure. Polyfidelity often occurs when “polysaturation” has been reached, or the inability to add additional partners due to time and energy constraints.
11. Relationship Anarchy
In relationship anarchy, all participants are free to connect with others romantically and sexually without the restriction of rules, labels, or hierarchy. Relationships evolve organically between the partners involved, which are rooted in trust, communication and autonomy. Relationship anarchists may still have anchor partners that they live with or share other commitments with.
(Credits to https://www.choosingtherapy.com/polyamory/)
- Other Lifestyle Styles
*Swinging: Form of ENM, meaning all partners openly agree to enjoy sexual experiences outside their primary relationship. The people who embrace this lifestyle are known as swingers.
Swing Styles:
Parallel – Explore the Lifestyle apart from a pre-existing relationship partner
Same Room- Explore the Lifestyle in front of a pre-existing relationship partner.
Types:
A “soft swap” involves sexual activities up to and including oral sex.
A “full swap” or “hard swap” involves most sexual activities, including intercourse — vaginal or anal, depending on preferences.
*ENM “Ethical Non Monogamy”: (To me) The middle ground between Swinging and Polyamory. Consented sexual exploration outside of a pre-existing relationship. ENM usually does NOT involve emotional engagement with anyone other than the primary partner.
Q: What is the difference between ENM and Polyamory
A: ENM usually don’t involve emotional feelings outside of a relationship unlike Polyamory